The Wise Monkeys

A bigamist who bragged about his young bride on the Friends Reunited website was caught when his other wife found out about the site, a court heard.

Carl Wallace, 45, of Howgill Crescent, Oldham, Greater Manchester, received a 16 week suspended jail sentence. He pleaded guilty to bigamy and making a false declaration for the purpose of procuring a marriage certificate. Bolton Crown Court heard Wallace’s wife had refused a quickie divorce after his affair with a 24-year-old woman.

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There has been a small outbreak of ?zombism? in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia.

The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rating killing victims in fewer than 2 days.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it?s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during ?resurrection.?

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A GROUP of Australian bus drivers who say they were sacked for being too fat are to appeal to an arbitration panel, a report said Sunday.

Seventeen drivers were refused a chance to renew work contracts when a new bus company took over in the southern city of Adelaide, the Australian Associated Press quoted Transport Workers Union official Alex Gallacher as saying.

The new employers deem it an occupational health and safety issue, Gallacher said.

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An off-duty policeman’s gun went off twice as he pulled down his pants to use the toilet, injuring a man.

Officer Craig Clancy was attending a car auction in San Antonio when nature called.

As he undid his trousers, the gun fell from its holster.

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Well I was doing my daily forum browsing for the day and I just happened to notice that Hulk12 is just starting to drive… Being the wonderful guy (do I hear coughing in the room?) that I am I thought I would hunt for some news articles to help make him feel better about learning to drive…

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A South African zoo wants a chimpanzee to quit smoking cold turkey.

Keepers say Charlie the chimpanzee picked up the habit from visitors at the Bloemfontein Zoo who sometimes toss him cigarettes.

“It looks funny to see a chimp smoking,” a zoo spokesman said, but Charlie’s trick could cost him his health.

The zoo is asking people to stop tossing cigarettes and contributing to the chimp’s habit.

A zoo official says Charlie “acts like a naughty schoolboy” and hides his cigarettes when workers are around.

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The Great Depate: Nothsiders vs. Southsiders.

Another controversial post.
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An Australian shot in the leg by his friend at a drunken party was so intoxicated he went back to sleep after the accident, a court was told on Tuesday.

The court in the northeastern city of Brisbane placed Shannon David Campbell (21) on probation for a year for unlawful wounding.

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